Well, spiritual awakening is psychosis. If it’s not psychosis, it’s not spiritual awakening, it’s a short spiritual experience that gave the person a fresher, slightly elevated perspective on life. True spiritual awakening leaves you with no perspective on life.

The truth is, ego is psychosis. Ego is crazy, it’s irrational, it loves miring in misery and hatred and then go the opposite way and experience love and beauty. One experience cannot exist without another.

So when an irreversible awakening happens (some call it abiding awareness), one goes through the layers of one’s ego like an onion. And each layer is crazier than the previous one. There is love over here, hatred underneath it, vanity there, confidence here but on top of huge insecurity, disgust and then awe, suicidal ideation and ideas of immortality, compassion for humanity with deep hatred for it underneath - the layers are many and they’re fun.

The initial Samadhi is reached when one is so firmly established in truth that he can watch the psychosis and be aware it’s psychosis, not get lost in it, not be identified with it. When all of it is watched, experienced and forgotten, Samadhi itself disappears and only nothingness remains. This is true freedom.