No one can shut off their emotions. Men are just trained not to express them, not to show them, not to admit them. Because they’re not “supposed to”. Trust me, they feel the same amount of emotion inside as women do. If it ever feels like they “shut them off”, it’s only because they are more adept in suppression and distraction (which is also why they more often resort to alcohol and violence). Women are allowed to express themselves more freely. Yet both genders can efficiently “shut off” (i.e. not express) their emotions when the situation calls for it (e.g. at work).

There’s a lot of hypocrisy in society around men’s emotions. Everyone is happy to tell them how unhealthy they are for shutting them off, but if after hearing it a man breaks down and starts wheeping like a baby crying “Why does everyone tell me there’s something wrong with me?” the same people who accused him of it will freak out and say something like “Boy, you’re unstable”. Well, you got what you asked for. No one wants to see that, so men try to never break down. They know they might get little sympathy for that.

What society really asks of men is this: Could you please be a little more vulnerable so that I’m more comfortable around you, but not so vulnerable that I freak out? Could you strike that balance just right for me please? Thank you.

When we learn not to judge men for their emotions at least in the same way we don’t judge women (both genders are judged, men are just judged for this way more), there will be a change, but not before.