Why would you scold your children? Who told you that it’s a good idea? Why did you listen? The guilt you are feeling is your heart crying for them after witnessing your own cruelty.

It brings you guilt and you don’t like it - so you’re asking how to get rid of it. But to them, it brings shame. Do you think they like it? How will they get rid of it? Why do you do something that brings pain to all of you? Listen to your heart, your heart doesn’t lie.

Don’t try to teach children right from wrong. They are not stupid, they know. They actually know better than you.

Listen to them, love them, treat them as you would treat yourself, treat them as adults. Explain things to them, explain the consequences of their actions, but allow them to be free. You are just scared that they might end up doing stupid things or grow into different people than you want them to be, so you think they must be “corrected”. This is not love. You transmit your own fear to them through your scolding and they will grow up more fearful and less happy as a result. You can only give your children your knowledge, that’s the best you can do, don’t try to make them into something they are not, allow them to be free.

Yes, you can set boundaries and enforce consequences for their actions which bother or inconvenience you, for example, if they destroy something at your home or deliberately annoy you. But that’s not the same as scolding. Don’t ever tell your children they are not as good as they could be or that they disappoint you in any way.