This can be very tricky to discern, because even though true self-love is the opposite of ego, ego is in love with itself also.

Ego’s self-love is protective of itself and it quickly assigns blame to others (or yourself!) when it’s hurt. True self-love is allowing and it doesn’t judge.

Here’s an example which might help you differentiate. Imagine someone told you something really nasty about you and it hurts.

Egoic self-love: “Wow, what a cruel thing to say. What a douche with a huge ego. He has a lot of personal growth to do. He needs some help and love. He is so ignorant.”

True self-love: “I feel hurt. This is painful. That’s what emotional pain feels like. It’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with it. No one is at fault. I just feel hurt right now. It will pass.”

So, paradoxically, and somewhat hilariously, a person with a strong ego will be quick to point out to you that you have a big ego (and you might think it’s true!), while a person with a weak ego will just say “I am hurt right now” or cry (and you might think he’s got a big ego!).

What a joke haha.