About 2–2.5 years. And there still might be a smudge of conditioning in me, but it’s absolutely impossible for me to see or perceive it, because I basically don’t experience anything except the five bodily senses. All of them, of course, blissful. I still experience physical pain, of course. And I can also can think which is more than I can say for some people in the various stages of non-duality, at least in the earlier stages, but sometimes in the later stages, also. Earlier stages of non-duality are pretty much insanity, but I went through them also, so it’s all good.

But it’s not an ordinary timeline. It usually takes years and years for people to complete the process, 10 years or more, and the absolute majority of people never do. Unfortunately, we are all very, very deeply conditioned by society to live against our will. The deeper you go, the better it gets, but it also often times gets real good real fast, so most people stop at some point, unconsciously. It’s good enough for them, more than good enough. I am happy for them, genuinely happy.

But I was just a kind of a masochist, I guess hehehe. I had suffered tremendously in my life, and I really wanted to be free from all of it, without exception. Free from all the comforting lies, all delusions, nothing but truth. So I was putting kerosine on the fire, so to speak, by using psychedelics, with meditation or without it. Usually with, until they kinda stopped working in standard doses, so I didn’t see a point to meditate. I didn’t use them too frequently, sometimes more frequently, sometimes there would be months between uses, I also meditated daily, I was sleepy very often, took lots of naps. Also, suffering-wise, I had lots of periods when I was having more than I could handle without any “help” or “boost” I could get from psychedelics. But generally speaking, I was basically going as fast as I could. I don’t know why, don’t ask me.

I do speak a lot about responsible use of psychedelics, they can be a wonderful tool should you choose to go down this way, wink-wink. But they must be used properly - remember that the amount of suffering you will experience on this path will still be the same, and it will still all be yours. There are no shortcuts on this path, none. So it’s not about heroic doses or “figuring everything out”. There’s no need for heroic doses, and you will never “figure everything out”, it’s not possible. You will just see more of yourself and you will suffer. At one point of time or another you will necessarily go through what society would call a major depression, a psychotic episode, or elements of schizophrenia. I have experienced them all, in spades. It’s not for the faint of heart. So, don’t dive to the bottom of the well of your suffering, hoping to see something there. You won’t. What you will see there will be a mirage. Drink the well instead, learning to enjoy every sip of it. Slowly, but surely.

During these two years I cried almost every day, there was a tremendous amount of fear and every emotional pain imaginable, until I finally got to the point of more or less completely unlearning creating emotional experience and realized no mind, the Reality. No, “no mind” is not awareness, and if you think awareness is Reality, most of the suffering is still in front of you. The “dark night of the soul” was before I became awareness, and this question clearly states that it’s about afterwards, so I am talking about afterwards. Funny how tricky ego is, isn’t it?

So, my case is very rare, I really wanted this and wanted to do nothing else. I suffered so much in this life that I wanted to be free at all costs, completely free, I wanted nothing but the real deal. This is rare. I also had the means to do it, meaning that I had a good amount of savings which I accumulated during my Google years, I didn’t have to work, my wife could take care of me when needed etc. I am doing the same for her. It is a really difficult path, extremely difficult. No one dares speak about how difficult it is. Those who sneer at the difficulty of the path might not precisely be charlatans - but they are usually quite shallowly realized and it’s very easy for me to see, because they show me their madness when we speak.

I’m not special in any way, it doesn’t make me special, it just makes me statistically rare. There’s a difference, my dear trigger-happy egos hehehe. It also makes me somewhat lucky regarding my life circumstance, but boy did I suffer to make it happen. For 40 years boy did I suffer! So I prefer to think I have earned it hahaha. Triggered again, my dear egos? Good for you! Words are empty. Words are just words. I wish I knew this before, then I wouldn’t have to earn all this money that allowed me not to work during this process. It was truly a blessing, I have no idea how some people go through it while working. I am not entirely sure it’s even possible.

Also, it doesn’t mean that there are no more people like me. There are. It’s true that I don’t know of many well-known masters which authentically completed the journey. Osho is the only one I can think of, and it took him many years. There’s also this guy, which appears to have done it also (I cannot know for sure), and it also took him many years. I can recommend them both.

There are also a lot of good teachers out there who teach non-duality very well. Adya and Rupert Spira come to mind. They are both very good at what they do. They might be same as Osho, but then they hide it very well, hahaha. Or maybe they are just better teachers than me and they tell you what you need to hear about awareness. I don’t know. I cannot know. I am my own person.

It would also appear to me that some folks probably don’t speak about it much, or at the very least don’t make it their job, because life tends to be somewhat easier if you don’t. It’s a weird job hahaha. It is quite difficult for me to explain to people what I do, and there’s lots of strange things going on dealing with people’s unconscious which look very weird on the surface to everyone except those who went through it, with me or without me. It is not possible for most people to understand what I say to students when I guide them. But I love to do it, and I always try to find my best words. I love you all so much, and I want all of you to be free. And still I might stop doing it at some point. I don’t know. My life isn’t dedicated to literally anything, except love, and it can take many forms. Watching the sunsets is love for me, it is the utmost expression of my love.

As for the challenges, I can’t even begin to answer this question. Everything on this path is a challenge, everything. Up until the very end of it. Serenity is the reward for all the challenges.

This reward is big enough for me.