Blaming other people for your emotional experience. That is by far the biggest mistake. The other side of the same coin is blaming yourself for your emotional experience. The hardest thing to do for most people is accepting their emotional experience for what it is without blame or looking for reasons. The knee-jerk reaction to find a culprit (whether it’s the circumstances, a problem with others, or a problem with yourself) comes from the desire to never experience it again, and it’s always rooted in fear and inability to accept it. This desire feels rational on the surface, but almost always backfires later in life. That’s actually the true meaning of karma in spirituality - the concept that has been unimaginably perverted in the west.

A simple example: if you are terrified of a heartbreak, you are more likely to experience one. It will make you anxious, scared, controlling in a relationship and it will push your partner away.

It’s very easy to see as an abstract concept, but very hard to do. That’s basically what so-called “personal growth” is all about.

When you no longer hold other people responsible for how you feel, you are emotionally mature.