Because you can’t truly forgive anyone before you forgive yourself. Pretending to forgive is easy, true forgiveness is hard.

If someone wronged you, you have experienced a lot of negative emotion towards that person. You probably hated them for a time, or wished them bad things. When these emotions no longer have a hold on you, you can forgive, yes, but it’s not true forgiveness, not yet, and the other person will not feel like it is, either. It is a wonderful step, a sign of growth, but it’s not true forgiveness yet.

True forgiveness comes when you realize that you were wrong to hate them, you were wrong to wish them ill. That it was wrong of you, because they just didn’t know any better, and now you do, now you know that their cruelty was not their fault. In other words, when you realize that there was never anything to forgive them for, and now you have to forgive yourself for ever thinking there was. When you do, that’s true forgiveness and it’s exceptionally hard.