Insecurity is not fundamentally about control, even though the more insecure you are the more controlling you tend to be. Also, animals are not insecure - they have zero insecurity whatsoever. They are always completely relaxed unless there’s a physical threat to them.

Insecurity isn’t about physical threats - it’s about mental threats to one’s self-image. The most insecure person will go to the greatest lengths to protect his self-image. Like, for example, if someone tells you you’re a cretin and you get all angry and want to fight that person right now - that’s insecurity. Why would you care? It’s inconsequential for your survival.

So actually, men, on average, are more insecure than women, not the other way around. It depends on the individual, but on average, men have stronger, more rigid self-image, and play a role in society which is more rigid and demanding. This leads to insecurity which they hide very well. Which is why men are more aggressive and more easily insulted.

For example, “be a woman!” is meaningless, “be a man!” can be insulting and both genders use it to shame men into submission. Women are called sluts, men are called creeps or losers.

To see how insecure a person is, tell them they are not what they think they should be. Outward confidence (for example, in one’s abilities as “a man”) is in reality just well-masked insecurity. There’s still a rigid role behind it, you’re just so confident you’re good at it that you don’t believe when people say you’re not. But if such a person hears something he doesn’t want to hear from someone whose opinion really matters, it will be a crushing blow to him. Confidence is just make believe.

True confidence doesn’t look neither like confidence nor like insecurity. True confidence is when you don’t give a damn what anyone thinks of you, for any reason, not just most people, but literally anyone at all. That’s how animals are.